Substance
by xXErineilXx
Summary: A JohnxAmanda one-shot. Amanda tries to sort out her feelings. My first one-shot so...enjoy!


**Substance**

JohnxAmanda

Amanda wiped the sweat from her forehead. She and John had been working all day on a trap for some prostitute or something like that. And it still wasn't finished yet. They just needed to add the final touches that would make this trap potentially deadly, but worth making it through to survive.

"I think we've put in a good amount of work for the day. Let's get some rest then finish putting the bomb in tomorrow. Sound good?" John asked.

Amanda sighed. "Sure."

John left the room, but before he left, turned around and smiled lightly at her. Amanda sighed and waved gently.

Everyday felt like torture. She secretly loved John, but she couldn't tell him. So what it was sick and perverted, but it was also a little too illogical for him. A man like John could never let emotions get in the way of his work. She took a deep breath in and headed to the motel she had been staying in, as Amanda was unable to find a place of her own.

She sat on the cheap, dirty bed looking down at her wrists. She could see very clearly the cuts from two days ago, then very faintly the ones from a week ago. There may have been just a little bit of remains from the scars from two weeks ago. Amanda slid her painted jeans off of her and glanced at the scars on her thighs. There were scars from yesterday, and three days ago. All of the other scars had faded away. She picked up the knife on her almost falling apart bedside table and made a clean cut on her left leg, but then stopped.

"You must meet death in order to be reborn."

The words bounced around in her head after she made the cut. If John were to find out that she was cutting herself again, he would be very angry with her. And that was the last thing she wanted. Tears rolled down her face as she thought about what he would say.

"Distasteful."

Yeah. That was probably it. Distasteful. Amanda longed for him to be with her now. Holding her and telling her how much he cares. She needed John. So she would go find him.

John sat in a small room in the same building him and Amanda had been working in. As usual, he was alone. Some days, he longed to be with someone. He didn't know who, but just someone who cared and understood him. The glow and buzz from the monitors surrounding him seemed to taunt him more than usual. There was no pointless chatter to drone out the noise of his security cameras. Some days he almost wanted someone to sneak in and try to destroy him just so he'd have something to do. Suddenly, a small alarm went off. Someone snuck in! John raced to scan the monitors for the breach until he noticed it was the one focusing on the back door. The microphones picked up the door opening and someone calling out.

"John? John? Hello? Are you there?" The familiar voice shouted.

'Amanda?!' John thought. Soon enough, Amanda showed up on the monitor looking for John. He headed towards the back door to find Amanda shivering by the entrance.

"What are you doing here?! It's one o'clock in the morning!" John hissed.

"John…I need to tell you something. Something very important." She informed him.

"Oh, well what is it?" John asked, his tone lightening.

Amanda's eyes widened. She never believed that she could get this far! What would she do? There's no turning back now…

"I…I…" She stuttered.

This time, John's eyes widened. He's seen this before. As a child. In his early relationship with Jill. It was an emotional confession. He expected information on the police, or a new victim, but not this.

"Amanda," John began, taking a step closer to her. "Tell me what you want to say."

"John…I…love…you." She managed to get out.

Love. Love is a strong word. Especially coming from Amanda. John knows Amanda very well, and he knows that she would never say anything unless she meant it. But the question was, did John love her back? There was only one way to find out.

He took a deep breath in, took a step forward and kissed Amanda square on the lips. It felt perfect. Her lips, so sweet and gentle on his. Maybe it was wrong, because of their age, but what they felt for each other was real. John knew for sure that he loved Amanda. She pulled away from the kiss and began to cry.

"Why are you crying my angel?" John asked, trying to wipe away her tears.

"Because I'm addicted. To you. You're like my heroin. My substance. I can't stay away. And what will I do when you're g-gone? It's like withdrawal. I need you." She sobbed.

John pulled her back into his arms. "It's okay Amanda. Just enjoy what you have for now. This is one habit worth keeping, my love."

Amanda blushed and kissed John one more time.

* * *

**A/N: Omnomnom my first one-shot! And it's about Saw! I hope I wasn't OOC :( Please rate and review! :] The ending felt a little rushed only because it's almost 11 at night and I'm not supposed to be up . Sorreh! **


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